It’s not every day I make new friends, walking alone in woods. I live rurally, so it’s not exactly rare to see squirrels running up and down trees, or hedgehogs shuffling through leaves and mud.
Today I walked through some woods, stopping at a cafe to grab a latte before I drifted off. Anyway. I finished my latte and continued on. Only to turn round and find I was being stalked – by a wild, viscous creature.
I froze. Where to run? My partner screamed for help. We decided to walk on and face our fears. We carried on walking, even through a closed metal gate, but that didn’t deter the beast. He squeezed under it. Nothing could stop him.
Thank god he’s a youngen, I thought. He’s clearly intent on ripping my skin off. Or not. Maybe he’s just lonely. Maybe he’s looking for some new parents. Yeah, lets go with that. Anyway, I let the beast approach.
He climbed my leg like I was just another tree. I continued to walk but he continued to follow. This went on for a good 200 metres, at least. He was one determined beast. I decided at this point he needed a name, and that name would be Steve (the squirrel). My partner wasn’t really a fan, believe it or not.
I was a bit concerned for Steve so I did some googling. Turns out baby squirrels rarely follow humans unless they are orphaned, or in need of help. We came across two other walkers and to my horror, Steve betrayed me. He didn’t even say goodbye. Steve was soon the star of the woods, you could hear the shouts of ‘AWW’ for miles.
Goodbye for now, Steve. We’ll meet again.